That's me...

That's me...
March 2010

Mittwoch, 12. Mai 2010

Back from vacation...

I was in Rome the last days and it was simply incredible. Now I am back in good old germany and the weather freaks me out again *LOL*. I was wondering if I should go into SL even if I still need to sort out loads of things in my RL. I got some news by accident and the most important to me I just found via the flickr of my SL Sister is that the Anjuna has closed while i was away. It really makes me sad, even if I understand the reasons from Britty. Granny told me about it and it's just like I always say: RL always before SL. I hope one day the Anjuna will be back with the lovable crowd i have known it. I miss you already Britt and I really hope from the bottom of my heart, that we stay in touch. I think I should come back and spread some love *winks*

What's wrong with the world mama?
People living like ain't got no mamas
I think the whole worlds addicted to the drama
Only attracted to the things that bring you trauma
Overseas yeah we tryin to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin
In the USA the big CIA the Bloodz and the Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hatin you're bound to get irate
Yeah madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
You gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love y'all

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(where is the lovex3)(the love2x)

It just ain't the same all ways have changed
New days are strange is the world the insane?
If love and peace so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations dropping bombs
Chemical gases filling lungs of little ones
With ongoing suffering
As the youth die young
So ask yourself is the loving really strong?
So I can ask myself really what is going wrong
With this world that we living in
People keep on giving in
Makin wrong decisions
Only visions of them livin and
Not respecting each other
Deny thy brother
The wars' going on but the reasons' undercover
The truth is kept secret
Swept under the rug
If you never know truth
Then you never know love
Where's the love y'all?(I don't know)
Where's the truth y'all?(I don't know)
Where's the love y'all?

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father father father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(where is the lovex3)(the lovex2)

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm getting older y'all people get colder
Most of us only care about money makin
Selfishness got us followin the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting their young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what the see in the cinema
Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love, we're spreading anomosity
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling down
It's no wonder why sometimes I'm feeling under
I gotta keep my faith alive, until love is found

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(fade)

Mittwoch, 28. April 2010

Not much to say...

... except that i am exhausted by my rl at the moment. Found this adorable movie "The big Gay Musical!" It gives me strength and makes me sad at the same time...

I didn't realize till now
that our cold self-righteous words could hurt you so
I was taught, very young by those who came before me
to fear and condemn the things i don't know
There is fear in the hearts of those who would change you
Fear of the light that shines from you
They don't know that light was designed by God
who gave it a brilliant and beautiful hue

And to those who would change you or send you away
you must proudly stand your ground and say:
I was put on this earth as I am,
I was born with my own special blessings
I let them shine and not give a damn
I was put on this earth AS I AM

There is envy in those who recklessly judge you
wishing their hearts could love like yours
they don't understand they can reach within
and find all the love, forgiveness restores.
And to those who condemn you and with fury and shame
you must strongly plant your feet and proclaim:

I was put on this earth as I am
I was put here to live as his creation
And i know I'm loved in virtue and sin
I'm calm and content within my own skin

I was put on this earth as I am
I was born with my own special blessings
I let them shine and not give a damn
I was put on this earth AS I AM

... remember.. i am not native in english... i bet there are some wrong words in the last chorus... please let me know what you hear there. Thanks in advance :o)

*As God made 'em!*

Montag, 19. April 2010

It seems...

... some things are never to late to change them into something good!
These last weeks were terrible. I wasn't online that much, because i had loads of stuff to do in my laggy RL. My job really starts to kill me and I hope that I will not end again at the point of no return, another burn-out-syndrome.
But there was another reason, why I wasn't online that much. Maybe you read already about the friend of mine, who I called a huge liar. It seems I judged too fast about her and her acting. We started to talk again and now I am sure she had her reasons. I am still a bit confused about the things, but I am sure we are able to give us another chance.
Another chance... yes, I get also another chance from one of the most precious people I met so far in SL. He made my heart skip faster in just some days, I started to believe into the chance to find "THE special one" in SL and I left him behind me without any word. I know I did loads of wrong things the past weeks and so I am really grateful that this wonderful guy wants to keep me as a friend and that he was able to forgive me. I think I don't need to mention your name, because you and my closest friends knowing it already *smiles*.
Maybe some of you know that i am a therapist.. not a psychatrist or psychological one, but also as speechtherapist i have to be empathic and have to know more than the basic skills to act correct with people. I will remember these facts to treat anyone the right way in the future and if I don't, feel free to kick my ass. I just saw again that a talk is never to late to sort things out.
Tasty Hax offered me a spot at the Radiant Bliss Music Project area. I thank you so much for this Tasty and i hope i can get it asap. I think its good to have a home spot again in SL and beside my lovable friends my lil privacy as another reason to keep in touch.
All these latest things just remember me again that it's not possible to split the human in front of the screen from the virtual person in SL. Everything appears in both lifes... the good and the sad parts.

Today i want to add here one of my all time favs.. I always get a goosebumps when I hear Randy Crawfords voice and this live-version is really unique... whatcha think?


Mittwoch, 31. März 2010

Video share...

... i so love this song and the lyrics are SO fittin to my mood. And tomorrow??? I will open my eyes again! Oh and the singer is TINA DICO, not like its written on this lil youtube *winks*

There are faces, there are smiles, so many teeth, too many arms and legs
And eyes and flashing buttons all around me
I'm a-watching, I'm a-breathing, I'm a-pushing, I'm a wishing
That these walls would not be talking quite so loudly
I have bourned out once before I've pulled myself up from the floor
And I am looking for a reason to stay standing
But sometimes it's just too much it's not enough it's something else
It's so much bigger than my head, it's too demanding

Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to go slow
And sometimes if you wanna hold on you got to let go

I'm gonna close my eyes
And count to ten
I'm gonna close my eyes
And when I open them again
Everything will make sense to me then

I have met so many people, we've exchanged so many words
We've said it all and we've said nothing but it's changed us
I have know a lot of men, some were lovers, some were friends
But all together were they merely passing strangers?
They'll control you with their silence, they'll control you with their words
And you'll control them with your body's coded signals
In the wild, entangled gardens of our insecurities
We lose our heads into eachother's hidden pitfalls

Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to go slow
And sometimes if you wanna hold on you got to let go

I'm gonna close my eyes
And count to ten
I'm gonna close my eyes
And when I open them again
Everything will make sense to me then



Dienstag, 30. März 2010


.. things are turning out bad. Just another experience i just made two days ago.
One of my closest friends turned out into the biggest liar i ever met in Second Life.
For more than one and a half year she served me nothing but lies. maybe there was truth in one or two facts, but to be honest, I totally lost my trust into her.
Yes, she was also helpful to me as i had my bad times with my Ex, yes, she gave me a place when i lost everything. I am still thankful for these facts but i never expected what finally happened.

So what happened: gosh... long story lol... another friend just contacted me 2 days ago and asked me if i would have heard from her because he got a short message on his cell from her that she would have left SL... i told him she just contacted me three hours earlier to get some Landmarks for hairshops ... i was under shock and really worried. I tried to get her... but she wasn't online...
Yesterday morning i got her hubby in SL and was asking him if he could get her to the desktop because i would need to talk to her... and as i asked him to get her in front of the desktop because i really would ned to talk to her he responded something like "huh? how can i make this, she lives in Brazil and i live in the US.". She told me from the beginning they would be married in sl but also in rl, they would have a lil son, would have 14 sims in SL, loads things about her job and so on... We had loads of deep talks where i opened my soul to her and also got more details about her own life. Also her hubby was under shock, that she told me all these lies.
Just as one example: One day she told me that she is more relaxed with nudity as a woman who is born in Brazil. Sometimes she brings the trash out just with a jeans and a bra... her hubby and son were sitting on the couch, playing PS3, eating popcorn and were totally shocked as she greated outside the neighbours with a nice wave, her son would have said "I can't leave this house anymore from now!" Haha... fun story if it just would be the truth.. if there just would be a son, a home, neighbours or a hubby.
I have no idea why people acting this way with other peoples feeling. I never will understand why so many seem to love to kick others butts and dump them to the trash. I thought SL would be a place where people are fulfilling their RL dreams... but in such a bad way? Finally it sounds all like a multiple personality and if it's so i should be sad for her. I know that there are loads of broken people, but i thought everyone needs a kinda peace too. You know??? I really know people good in RL... its also my job as a therapist, but i never expected that people could act like this in a world where everyone runs behind some of his RL dreams. I really hope that i get better in locating those people also in RL and to keep them away from me.

By all this trouble I really hope, that i haven't offended a really close friend. I was not in the mood to see anyone last night so I was just sitting in the corner and thinking again about my being in SL.
This time I found some reasons to stay, even homeless again. There is this special person I just met 11 days ago and who grows up to a very special person in my being in SL, my SL Sister Granny, even if we don't have that much contact at the moment, some very nice people like Britt Bury and so many more REALLY lovable people from my friendslist. I am also happy that my first own DJ group started so well. I thank all the people who joined it so far and hope this family will grow also. *MUSIC TO UNITE PEOPLE* So if you want to join me there, feel free to search for ERIN MESSMER under groups in world and join my lovable HOUSE-CHOON-LOVERS :o)
If you are a really nice person... don't hide yourself and spread love also into the virtual world!!!

My message for today has nothing to do with music...


Samstag, 27. März 2010

One night in March

Today I had a really great time and just wonderful experiences in SL. As i signed in I jumped into a free slot at the ANJUNA BEACH CLUB. A cool party crowd, some of the great Anjuna family, my Sister Granny and also Spanki were there. I enjoyed my set and i think the people around liked it too.
A close friend of mine, Lolly, asked me to spin at her wedding tomorrow. This is really a great honor for me, especially because I know how many really cool DJ's she knows by her work at THE SLEEK. I look forward to this event tomorrow. I think I will start with some Lounge tunes and cross over to some smooth house tunes.
After a while Spanki contacted me and TP'd me to the Tainted boys Club. This is a Gay-Club... Close friends of mine should hear now the alarm bell ringing. Yes I am not really used to gayclubs in SL. I wasn't often there because the most places i have visited were pretty boring. It seems the gays in SL are harder to handle than in RL, because they always standing around, watchin, checkin and hopin for THE better one who should appear just for them! LOL
So the night at the Tainted boys turned out into a really cool night. The DJ was amazing and the crowd was cool. Maybe it depends if there are naughty places around, because at Tainted boys you will not find them :o)
It was another night with Spanki there and I need to say, that I love that we are able to have fun, deep talks but also just quiet moments where we both just seem to enjoy ourselfs. I really hope there will be an again and again and again ....



... for being here. I decided to create my own BLOG-Profile, because I noticed how many people are doing that. I think it's a great way to get in contact with interesting new people, to stay in touch with old and close friends.
One of my latest friends also showed me that this kinda Blog is a great opportunity to get to know more sides of a human who is not used to talk about himself face 2 face.
I am not sure if I will find enough time to write here really often, but i will try to write everything that touches me deeply.
Erin Messmer is my alter ego in Second Life. I am DJ and creator in this virtual world. As DJ I spin some styles of HOUSE - Music and as creator I am used to build prefab houses, furniture, plants and all kind of decorations. I love to explore SL and all the adorable spots and creations made by their user. I am also a hard-shopper because i love to honor the work of all these cool creator. Tis fact makes me everything but rich in this world referring to the Linden$, but i am rich by wonderful people and friends from all over the world there.
Maybe one day we will meet there, having a good talk or sharing thoughts about the world.
I need to excuse my poor english, but i am not native speaker in english... I am german but i decided to write here in english (also to learn a bit more).
Okay.. I hope you will enjoy what i can offer you here. If you have any suggestions or questions feel free to contact me anytime.
Mad love Erin <3<3<3